We are hearing a lot about the need for compromise these
days but it must have some hidden value that our politicians have not found yet
because we don’t see much of it. I wish they could have observed a recent event
I observed while visiting my grandchildren the week before the General Election…
The three of them were in the living room floor squalled around
one of those giant cartoon coloring books. The piece of artwork in question was
a picture of an elf packing gifts into Santa’s bag and there was a debate about
what color the cheerful chap’s hat should be. One child argued that everybody
knew that elf’s caps were green, and the other pointed out that if they colored
it green, then the holly leaf in the band wouldn’t be visible; it should
obviously be red.
Neither child was willing to concede until the third one,
the youngest, jumped in. She suggested a green hat, a red band, and a gold
holly leaf. He was, after all, a magic elf and could have golden holly in his
cap if he wanted. The two older children thought for a few seconds and happily
agreed, but the one who had wanted a red hat had a condition. She agreed to the
green hat if the jacket could be red with a green belt. The other two agreed
readily and the teamwork commenced.
Later, I took a few seconds to commend the youngest mediator
on a job well done, and her reply was stunningly simple. “We just wanted to
color, and it was only a hat.” Wow, out of the mouths of babes! I realized in
that moment that compromise wasn’t an intricate skill that one learned in
debate class in college; it’s a survival skill that each of us learns as
toddlers, or maybe we’re born with it. After all, we see it happen in nature
all the time. A tree bends in the wind instead of standing stiffly because if
it didn’t, it would die. It’s the nature of things; bend or break.
When I looked into those guileless blue eyes and considered
her words, it occurred to me that the hidden value of compromise is two-fold:
happiness and progress. She knew what she wanted and found a way to make it
happen. The other two shared the same goal, and were willing to offer up some
goodwill and bend a bit on the details in order to finish the picture. In the
end, everybody was happy and the project was complete.
It would appear that our children have a better handle on
running things successfully than those whom we pay to do so. Maybe our
politicians should have mandatory babysitting duty this holiday season with the
hope that they’ll find the hidden value in guileless compromise
before the winds of change break our nation.
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