I don't know what overly ambitious person invented the practice of making New Year's Resolutions. I am sure that person was well-intentioned and many have benefited from this yearly run for perfection. I used to think that a new year could magically throw out a lifeline to keep me from sinking into the "not enough" sea of desperation. All of my resolutions were rooted in feeling like I was not enough—not working hard enough, not slim enough, not spiritual enough, not fit enough, not a good enough friend or parent and not carrying my own weight in the world. Now that I am older and wiser, I realize that a new year doesn’t change old thought patterns. If anything, the passing of time tends to reinforce them. The longer my to-do list got each year, the more I began to feel powerless and to believe the person I was in that moment was not enough. There's no hidden value in that. It just fosters self incrimination and shame.
Nowadays, I do not set New Year’s goals or make resolutions to lose weight, gain patience, grow rich, or be more than the person I already am. I just pick One Word to frame my life.
My word for this year is FAITH. On January 1st, that word begins to frame my attitude and my life for the next 365 days. I will remember that word every time I begin to feel fearful or that I do not have the right stuff to succeed. I will meet fear with faith at every dark corner of this year. I will stop worrying about the future and obsessing about past failures. I will live in the moment with the serenity that God can do for me what I have not been willing or able to do for myself. In that way I will see the hidden value in every person I meet and in every thing that happens throughout the year.
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